Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute
you didn't grow under my heart
but in it!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, my mother (Grammy) and I arrived in Guatemala for Gabriella's pick-up trip and Gabriella was placed in my arms FOREVER!

Gabriella was FINALLY coming home. Oh boy, was I thanking God! FINALLY...I would now be able to live more in the future (what would we do next week...such a nice question to be able to finally be considering) rather than living in the past (memories from past visit trips, etc.) or in the day (who would I call today to harass to move on to the next step of the adoption process or what is my sweet baby doing right now 2,000 miles away or is she safe, happy, well-fed, etc.)

This photo was taken moments after the foster family had left the hotel and she was MINE, OH MINE! (They had taken her to the salon that day to get her hair styled at a "salon for princessas (princesses)," as they had described it!):

The day was chock-full of emotion that ran the full gamut:
  • Pure Excitement and Joy - I had waited for this day for just shy of 13 months and it was finally here
  • Relief - the wait was FINALLY over
  • Guilt - my excitement and happiness in welcoming Gabriella was Gabriella's foster family's simultaneous pain and sadness in saying goodbye to Gabriella
  • Nervousness and Apprehension - I was really a mommy who would be completely responsible for this precious life
  • Anxiety - we technically still were not completely "done," we still had the US Embassy appointment and had to get Gabriella's Visa so I was very anxious that with the way my luck had been running, SOMETHING could still go wrong
  • Worry - I was very concerned about doing what was best for Gabriella and making the transition from her foster family to our family as easy for her as possible. I had to minimize her sadness, anxiety, and fear.
  • Doubt - would I be able to effectively parent this very active toddler and make the best decisions for her
  • Pride - SHE is MY baby girl
  • Sadness - we knew we would not be visiting Guatemala as often as we had been and we were essentially saying "Goodbye for now" to the beautiful country of Guatemala and the AMAZING friends we met along the journey
  • Thankfulness - how did I possibly deserve such a blessing from God

Gabriella's "other family" who loved and adored her so dearly:
In our arms FOREVER!:

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