Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute
you didn't grow under my heart
but in it!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Another Sad Day With No Preapproval...

As I posted previously, I received an e-mail from the US Embassy in Guatemala on March 6th which led me to believe that my case was actively under review. I waited and waited and incessantly checked my e-mail for that magic e-mail stating that I had received preapproval. Because nothing came, I sent another e-mail inquiry last night asking more specific questions about the e-mail I received from them and this is what I received, "your pre approval will be issued around second week of April." THE SECOND WEEK OF APRIL! They are going to take the full 60 days, TWO MONTHS, for an approval that only a month or so earlier was taking them TWO WEEKS to issue. I truly believe, with every ounce of my being, that they are taking the entire 60 days simply to make a political statement. Plus, if they can make the statement that my preapproval will be issued on a certain date, then they must know that my file satisfies all requirements, so why are they holding out on issuing the preapproval? Instead, my case will be delayed an additional month, just because, with no valid reason. Gabriella will be 8 months old on April 4th and there are still many steps to complete in this process. At this rate, I will be lucky if she is home for her first birthday. Don't they realize that this is not just another file, but a child. Don't they realize that their political grandstanding is only hurting children and does nothing positive.

I am obviously extremely frustrated and sad. I knew this would be a physically and mentally exhausting process when I started it, but did not realize how painful it would be until now that I am in the throws of it. I also have listened to many adoptive parent's stories about how they knew the child was his or her son or daughter the moment they laid eyes on him or her. Nothing could be more true and, again, you cannot imagine the impact of that until you experience it. Gabriella is my daughter; my daughter is stuck in another country, being rasied by and bonding with another family, tied up in a frustrating process that I have absolutely no control over. I have certainly never felt more powerful feelings than I am feeling right now, and I do not know if I ever will. This is compounded with the physical and mental scars that I am still healing from from my accident on January 14th. This is definitely a trying time, but my thoughts of Gabriella and prayers for her homecoming help me through these difficult days.

1 comment:

  1. Melissa,
    I was hopping over to your blog hoping to see that you had received PA--UGH! I totally agree that they are holding things up intentionally- they see these cases as numbers, not children. I'll be praying that it comes soon and that you continue to have strength through this grueling, roller coaster of a ride process- it is so hard- and no one understands unless they have been through it!
    Take care,
    Sue (Evan's Mommy)