Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute
you didn't grow under my heart
but in it!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Still No News...

I am still waiting on Preapproval from the US Embassy in Guatemala. Even though the Embassy told me that they have extended the adjudication time frame to 60 days and that the office has until April 7th before they will respond to any inquiries on my case, I sent them a second e-mail this evening inquiring about my case. In addition, Representative Barney Frank's office also sent an inquiry on my behalf. (By the way, his office has been AWESOME to work with!) Hopefully the US Embassy in Guatemala will get so sick of me, they will have no choice but to review my file soon to get me out of their hair!

While in Guatemala we met several married adoptive moms who are living in Guatemala temporarily fostering their babies themselves. They have either rented apartments or are living in the hotel while their husbands continue to work, live, and support their wives from the United States. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I get very jealous of these families that have the financial means and family set-up to make this possible. I also feel a bit guilty that I cannot give this same luxury to Gabriella. I do realize though, that if I cannot parent her myself in Guatemala, there is not a better person in Guatemala than N. to assume this role for me.

I often have dreams of Gabriella at night. Sometimes the dreams are nightmarish in which something goes wrong in the adoption process. Sometimes the dreams are happy dreams in which we are living our lives together. I also think of her many, many times every day. It makes me so sad because each day she is one day older and it is one less day that I can share with her. It is one more day that I am missing out on her development, changes, and discoveries. One more day in which I cannot take her for a walk, read a book to her, play with her, or kiss her precious cheeks. One more day for her to develop a stronger bond with her foster family which will make it that much more difficult for her to leave their home. One more day apart from the baby girl who I love so dearly...

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Melissa, we'll say extra prayers for you both. We heard that you were in an accident recently. We hope that you are doing okay!! Take care and we hope to talk to you soon!!

    Steve and Julie Kansteiner